A Whole New World

"Formally Submit Application?"

Nah, that phrase isn't daunting at all.  But I did it.  I submitted my application and now all I can do is wait.  Wait for a response to my application for a scholarship to study abroad in Italy in the spring, my first experience out there in the great big world.

You know when you have an incredible desire in your heart, so exciting and powerful that you just can't believe it won't come true, but you also know you must repress it so that it won't hurt as badly if it doesn't come true? That is the worst kind of desire, because it's also the best.

I'm generally someone who follows the flow of things, never having a strong opinion about anything in particular, or in the very least never expressing any opinion I may have.  So to be strongly attached to this idea of the possibility that I could go to Italy is relatively new to me, which makes it all the more exciting.

So I must wait and hope.  But I also have the assurance that even if I don't receive the scholarship, I will have the opportunity to go there someday.  Even if it's not for a while.  If it's not for a while, it will still be worth the wait.

Hoping and searching for the sunshine. . .

<3 Mel

You May Say I'm a Dreamer

"Done is better than perfect."

This is my new mantra.  This should be the title of my blog.  Nay, this should be the title of my life.

I need to learn to think this way.  Perfectionism is a serious illness, at least as it affects me, in that it hinders one's ability to complete projects in a timely manner.

Done is better than perfect.  Especially when perfect can never be attained.

That's my spiel for the day.  And so it goes.

On an entirely different topic. . .
I wanted to lay out my life goals, in one enormous, probably unrealistic timeline of my aspirations. . . just to get it out there.  So humor me for a few minutes. Thanks.

I will graduate Brigham Young University with a degree in History in the Fall of 2013.  In the Winter of 2013, I will participate in an internship (preferably paid) to gain experience in archival work.  Then I will obtain a career as an archivist in some museum or library, and I will get to work with historical manuscripts and artifacts of all kinds.  Then I will marry a tall, dark, and handsome —obviously— man in either the San Diego or Washington, D.C. temple (because those are my favorites) and I will have three children, two girls and a boy.  I will quit my job as an archivist when I have children, and will begin working as a writer.  I will be paid to blog and/or write creative nonfiction or historical fiction, from my computer in my home, while still being a stay-at-home mom.  And so it will go.  And my life will be grand.

I know.  My life will be awesome.  Don't be jealous.

I am of course being facetious.  But it's fun to dream.

Doing my best to find the sunshine. . .

<3 Mel  

The Interview

The Interview (exercise in lyric essay)

Q: “You said you were about fourteen when you discovered what you wanted to study?”

A: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Q: “And you were a sophomore?”

A: “Yes, at La Costa Canyon High School.”

Q: “What was your World History teacher’s name?”

A: “Mr. Heflin.  He was very strange.  He had weird blond hair parted down the middle and shifty eyes. He looked like the mammoth from the movie Ice Age. Seriously! We all thought that.  His hair looked like the mammoth’s hair.  But he was a wonderful teacher.”

Q: “So this project that you did, it was an assignment for the class?”

A: “Yes.  We needed to interview someone who participated in World War II, or who knew someone that did.  Then we had to write a paper about them.”

Q: “I see.  And who did you interview?”

A: “My Grandma Cantrell, my stepdad’s mother.  Grandpa Cantrell fought in the war but he had died six years earlier so I couldn’t talk to him.”

Q: “You interviewed your grandmother about her husband?”

A: “Well, yes.  I asked her about his experience in the war, but I also asked about her experience.  She worked in a factory during the war, building airplanes and such.  But she also told me a lot about what Grandpa did in the Navy.”

Q: “Did you do any other research for that paper other than the interview?”

A: “Oh yes.  I did a lot of research.  I went through all his memorabilia from the war.  There were pamphlets and letters, and lots of packets from the reunions of his Navy unit, many years after the war.  These packets had biographies of the men and other bits of history recorded.  I got to wear his dog tags.  That was my favorite.”

Q: “Did you learn anything new about the war from these items and the interview with your grandmother?”

A: “Absolutely.  I had never heard of the Battle of the Coral Sea before.  It took place soon after the attack on Pearl Harbor.  Grandpa was on the USS Lexington CV2 during that battle, and his ship got attacked.  It flipped over, and he and all the other sailors had to jump off.  There is this great picture of the Lexington turning over, with all these guys jumping into the ocean.  Jerry, my stepdad, said that Grandpa figured out where he was in the picture one time, and showed Jerry.  Jerry couldn’t remember where he was, so I don’t know either.  It’s a great picture though.  Oh, and all the sailors survived.  They were picked up by an American ship that was passing by.  Grandpa told Jerry once that it wasn’t a big deal.  But I think he was lucky.  He might have been at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941 but instead he was out at sea on the Lexington.  If he had died at Pearl Harbor Jerry would have never known his dad.  Jerry was only a few months old when Hawaii was attacked.  At that time I also didn’t know that women went to work in the places of men during the war.  That was really interesting to me.”

Q: “What was it about this project that led you to want to study history?”

A: “All of it.  I loved doing the interview; I loved hearing what happened directly from someone who experienced it.  I loved going through the memorabilia.  I loved being able to touch history, to read things that had been written sixty-something years before, to hold something that was present during war, in the midst of a battle.  I also loved that these stories were real and true, and I knew the people that had experienced them.  I loved that I knew a lot more about my grandparents after this project was over.”

Q: “Will you pursue this passion in your later life? Perhaps in a career?”

A: “I truly hope so.  I would love more than anything to work with archives, museums, libraries, et cetera doing research and compiling histories, putting together people’s stories.  I’d also really like to work on putting them in written form.  I don’t know about that yet. I have a long way to go, ha ha.”
<3 Mel

Fear is Mine

“Fear is Mine” (experiment with lyric essay)

Fear of heights.

No, fear of falling from heights.

Fear of suffocation.

Claustrophobia.

Extreme claustrophobia.

Fear of not being able to breathe.

Drowning.

Aquaphobia.

Fear of open ocean water.

Fear of unknown creatures in the water.

Fear of what cannot be seen, especially in the water. Or in dark places.

Fear of not knowing.

Fear of being alone.

Fear of having no one to talk to.

Fear of having no one to answer questions.

Fear of having no one to ask questions.

Fear of future responsibilities.

Fear of adulthood.

Fear of not having fun.

Fear of losing childhood.

Fear of not knowing.

Fear of not forgetting.

Fear of forgetting.

Fear of car crashes.

Fear of driving in the rain/snow/sleet.

Fear of losing control of the car.

Fear of losing control of life.

Fear of losing control of mind.

Fear of not knowing.

Fear of not knowing.

<3 Mel

How To:

“How to Watch a Movie” (experiment with lyric essay)

            1. Select a movie.

a. Consider the audience.  Are you alone? With one friend? Two friends? A group? The chosen film must reflect the number and personalities of the people present. 

b. Examples:

            * A particularly sad and powerful drama in which you might sob uncontrollably is most appropriate when you are alone in the home, accompanied by a fuzzy blanket

* A ‘chick flick’ that has been seen too many times is most appropriate for a group of three or more

* The Avengers is most appropriate to watch with only Katie, because if Yunnie joins she will squeal nonstop about the attractiveness of Captain America.

            2. Get the movie.

                        a. In the house.

                        b. Search Netflix Watch Instantly.

                        c. Redbox*

                              * This will take some preparation and an available vehicle. 

3. Snacks. 

a. Make the popcorn in a pot on the stove, then smother it in salt.  This is the best possible calculated outcome.

b. If too lazy to make popcorn, grab the pretzels on the shelf.

            4. Gather the audience.

                        a. This might prove to be the most difficult task. 

- Watching alone requires only the obtaining of a blanket and/or sweatpants. 

- Watching with friends requires getting them in the same room and threatening to start the movie without them. 

b. Do NOT start the movie without them.

            5. Put in the movie.

a. Purchase a Blu-ray player.  This removes the concern whether the movie is a DVD or Blu-ray disc.  The Blu-ray player plays both.  This creates less confusion.

            6. Press ‘play’.

                        a. Use the remote to select ‘play’ and then adjust the volume.

                        b. Do NOT try to shush everyone (if you are with friends/a group). It will not work.

            7. Enjoy the feature presentation.

a. This is the most important step.  It will last anywhere between one and three hours. 

b. Do NOT attempt to do homework during the movie.  You will not succeed.

                        c. Snuggle up and forget everything else.

<3 Mel

Road Trip

Life is a road trip.

Yes, I realize this is incredibly cliche. But as I sit in the passenger seat of Katie's Honda Accord listening to her shuffling iPod music, the comparisons to life cannot be ignored.

Ok, they absolutely could. But I choose not to ignore them, particularly for the purpose of having something to blog about today.

So life is a road trip. There are generally three choices for the passenger on a road trip.
1) You can take a nap. Just lean your head against the window, and lights out. You'll wake up when the car stops at your destination.
2) You can sit in companionable silence with the driver. Listen to the radio, look out the window at your surroundings, enjoy time alone in your head. . . or not.
3) You can sing along, very loudly and (likely) off-key, to the songs on the iPod. "Rumor has it he's the one I'm leaving you for!" "Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck, some nights I call it a draw." "Shaboom, oh life could be a dream, sweetheart." "Love love me do, you know I love you!"

I clearly chose the third.

Life is all about choices we make on our journey.

<3 Mel

Intelligent Humor

Shakespearean quips: from Much Ado About Nothing

"I would my horse had the speed of your tongue."

"If her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there would be no living near her."

"Methinks she is too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise and too little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her, that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I do not like her."

Claudio: "In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on."
Benedick: "I can see yet without spectacles and I see no such matter."

"An he had been a dog that should have howled thus they would have hanged him."

"Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humor? No! The world must be peopled!"

"Ha! 'Against my will I am sent to bid you come into dinner.' . . . There's a double meaning in that."

"Hah. There is the Prince, and Monsieur Love."

"Gallants! I am not as I have been!"

"When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I would live till I were married!"

I absolutely love clever writing, so Much Ado About Nothing is like going to a candy shop for me. I wish I knew how to write with such intelligent humor!

Maybe someday.

<3 Mel